As we celebrate our Independence and the people who create our freedom, I’m reflecting on the freedom to be vulnerable as well as powerful. To fully explore the range of human emotion and experience in a safe, supported community.
While it’s clear that traditional role models have been damaging to women, it’s becoming clear that they’ve been equally damaging to men.
In the past it’s been rare for men to acknowledge depression or emotional pain, and rarer still for them to seek therapeutic help without the urging of their family.
Currently, the United States suicide rate is highest for men between the ages of 50 and 75, mainly because they’ve been conditioned to “hold it all in” and give the appearance of “having it all together.”
Happily though I’ve seen an increase in major breakthroughs for men in their 20s, 30s and 40s in my practice as more and more husbands and fathers are returning from deployment to Hampton Roads with various levels of PTSD.
Particularly poignant was the case of my client’s husband who had returned from Iraq to find that his 3 year old daughter, the apple of his eye, refused to touch him. She actually screamed when he tried to pick her up.
She also pretty much stopped eating and drinking, and forgot her potty training.
This devastated her father much more than any of the considerable challenges he’d faced during his 6 months in the Middle East.
He was so desperate to restore his relationship with his child, he was even willing to try “some New Age crap.”
His wife noted “I have a Master’s degree in psychology with advanced clinical certification in child development. None of that prepared me for this.”
Although I found your questions insightful, I still don’t know what you did. All I know for sure is that it worked. After the first session my daughter asked for and ate chicken nuggets for the first time in 6 weeks. And she went to her dad and cuddled him when he got home that night.”
The entire family came in for more sessions together before their next posting, and the dad thanked me in person, not just for his daughter’s sake, but for the release of the anxieties and obsessive memories that had haunted him from his time abroad.
My work with our military families is vastly rewarding. Their relationships deepen and grow richer and more fulfilling. Their emotional resilience improves, extreme acting out by kids decreases, and the PTSD symptoms often disappear completely.
This gives me great hope for the future of our communities as we welcome home more and more wounded warriors who have honorably served us in painful situations.
Many thanks to all persons who have sacrificed their own comfort for others and the freedom to be wholly human. May we provide for them a safe, supportive environment for their own wholeness and that of the families who welcome them home.
…America, America, God mend Thine every flaw
Confirm Thy soul in Self-control, thy Liberty in Law
Happy Independence Day. Holding the vision that you are always free to be true to yourself.
*Note: verbal permission was given to use this family’s story anonymously in articles and other writings to benefit others
P.S. If you or anyone you know is dealing with PTSD or any other painful chronic condition, please take advantage of my free mini-session “Releasing Negative Patterns” by clicking the Audio button at www.maiyaholivas.com
